A 'substantive debate?!' You've got to be kidding me

The beltway press praised Donald Trump's debate performance, because he kept his derangement within his allotted two minutes.

In the opening minutes of Thursday’s debate, Donald Trump boasted about how we’re “rounding the corner” on the coronavirus. Meanwhile, the U.S. set a new record for cases Thursday, topping 77,000.

It was one of dozens of lies Trump spewed during the debate. But this time, he lied within his allotted two minutes, rather than incessantly shouting over everybody. That kind of remarkable discipline prompted NBC’s Andrea Mitchell to praise the “substantive debate” in her post-game analysis, along with an array of beltway pundits who will seemingly never learn their lesson. The New York Times’ “Daily” podcast recap of the debate is titled, “Sudden Civility.”

Are you kidding me?

One of the more depressing themes of Trump’s presidency has been the race between political analysts to declare he’s “changed his tone” when he’s done anything remotely normal — like deliver a speech without accusing Democrats of high crimes. Maybe the most infamous example of this maddening pundit penchant came following Trump’s 2017 State of the Union address, when he honored a Navy SEAL’s widow.

“That was one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics, period,” Van Jones said on CNN. “He became president of the United States.”

Despite five years of Trump acting like a deranged lunatic, there’s still this nauseatingly naive belief in cable news greenrooms that he’ll “grow into the office,” whatever that means. Don’t believe me? Earlier this month, MSNBC host Alex Witt praised Trump’s “gentler tone” in the immediate aftermath of his Covid-19 diagnosis, because he tweeted “LOVE!!!” in all caps.

One day later, Trump had a Secret Service agent chauffeur him around Walter Reed Medical Center, in a sad example of desperate political theatre. When Trump was released from the hospital, he defiantly told Americans to not let the coronavirus “dominate them.”

More than 220,000 Americans have died due to Covid-19. How gentle.

For a brief stretch in mid-March, Trump took on a more somber tone with the public, shutting down the country for 14 days. The White House press applauded Trump’s newfound seriousness. The Associated Press said Trump was “changing his tone” and getting “real on the coronavirus threat.”

Five weeks later, Trump suggested injecting bleach to fight Covid-19.

This maddening pattern has continued throughout the pandemic. When Trump finally wore a mask at the end of July, Chuck Todd said “on the mask-front, the president has turned the corner.”

That same week, Trump sent Ghislaine Maxwell his best wishes from the White House podium.

The White House press has been desperate to uphold Trump as a normal president, because it validates our increasingly superficial political processes, and thus, their existences. All of these landmark events — Supreme Court nomination heatings, presidential debates — are completely meaningless.

It is hard to fathom how any sentient human could have found Thursday’s debate between Trump and Biden to be substantive. Trump delivered his usual garbage and Biden spoke in rhetorical circles. There was tedious yammering about fracking and coal miners. It was all for show, and besides, more than 50 million Americans have already voted. Never mind the undecided voter. It’s getting increasingly difficult to find voters who haven’t already cast their ballots.

Yet, the mythical undecided voter continues to dominate cable news coverage. CNN’s Gary Tuchman said his group of undecided voters “exhaled” sighs of relief, because the debate between two blundering septuagenarians was so substantive. Frank Luntz’s undecided voters described Trump as “controlled” and “surprisingly presidential.”

Yes, because it is “surprisingly presidential” to ramble on about “beautiful health care.” At one point, Trump declared he’s done more for Black people than any president — with the exception of Abraham Lincoln, of course.

Politico’s Ryan Lizza wrote a piece criticizing Trump for his obscene obsession with Hunter Biden, but ends it with praise of Trump’s overall performance. “Trump was polite and disciplined and sometimes even seemed in command of the issues,” Lizza writes. “It makes you wonder what Trump could have accomplished this year against Biden if he had focused on what’s front and center to voters and didn’t get so distracted and preoccupied by the sideshow.”

This is a portion of Trump’s opening answer about the coronavirus, which, again, has killed more than 220,000 Americans and devastated our economy. Does this sound like somebody who “sometimes even seemed in command of the issues?”

“We're now making ventilators. All over the world, thousands and thousands a month, distributing them all over the world, it will go away and as I say, we're rounding the turn, we're rounding the corner, it's going away.”

Trump was the winner Thursday night, but not because of anything he said. The reaction shows how successfully he’s lowered the bar, or just how far people will go to protect their roles.

I’m undecided on that. But most of all, I’m thankful for the civility.

Screenshot via Twitter